Showing posts with label Music. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Music. Show all posts

Monday, January 14, 2013

Looking Up From The Bottom



They say "You have to hit the bottom before you can rise up…  ".   I've been living with depression all of my life.  I never called it that. In fact, I never thought much about it.  I just excepted an existential perspective on life and events.  Besides, I was much too consumed with playing music to pay attention to such things as the state of my soul, or if I had one, among other things.  

My life as I lived it had exhausted me.  Having distanced myself from music in the last few years, I felt I had no place to go and no place I wanted to go.  I finally broke.  I was in a dark and empty place.   "You have major depression."  I was very uncomfortable, annoyed actually at the suggestion that this was a medical issue.   "Look, it's not like I don't have a ton of reasons to feel the way I do. It's all overly depressing wouldn't you say?!!!".  There's silence and there's silence.   However, it was clear that I needed help… 

Interestingly, it's amazing the things you can see in a dark place.   So I'm now looking up from the bottom.
And as always, I'll do my best to climb out of here.