Monday, January 14, 2013

Looking Up From The Bottom

They say "You have to hit the bottom before you can rise up…  ".   I've been living with depression all of my life.  I never called it that. In fact, I never thought much about it.  I just excepted an existential perspective on life and events.  Besides, I was much too consumed with playing music to pay attention to such things as the state of my soul, or if I had one, among other things.  

My life as I lived it had exhausted me.  Having distanced myself from music in the last few years, I felt I had no place to go and no place I wanted to go.  I finally broke.  I was in a dark and empty place.   "You have major depression."  I was very uncomfortable, annoyed actually at the suggestion that this was a medical issue.   "Look, it's not like I don't have a ton of reasons to feel the way I do. It's all overly depressing wouldn't you say?!!!".  There's silence and there's silence.   However, it was clear that I needed help… 

Interestingly, it's amazing the things you can see in a dark place.   So I'm now looking up from the bottom.
And as always, I'll do my best to climb out of here. 


  1. If you need a helping hand, I'll be there. I think artists fight more demons than most folks. Love you!

  2. Mic....always here for you I hope you know that. I've been there twice. Would love to share when you have time.


  3. Better living through chemistry, my friend! Been there, done that, still have the xanax for backup.

    It's so important for us to accept our chemical imbalances. if it were diabetes, we wouldn't say, "Hey, I don't need insulin, there's plenty of reasons for me to be unwell..."

    It does take a little self discovery, self monitoring to make sure you're getting what you need.

    Sending love and good energy as you dare to go beyond...

  4. I'm glad to read that you are looking forward, that in it self is a great sign.

    Much Love to you brother :)