They say "You have to hit the bottom before you can rise up… ". I've been living with depression all of my life. I never called it that. In fact, I never thought much about it. I just excepted an existential perspective on life and events. Besides, I was much too consumed with playing music to pay attention to such things as the state of my soul, or if I had one, among other things.
My life as I lived it had exhausted me. Having distanced myself from music in the last few years, I felt I had no place to go and no place I wanted to go. I finally broke. I was in a dark and empty place. "You have major depression." I was very uncomfortable, annoyed actually at the suggestion that this was a medical issue. "Look, it's not like I don't have a ton of reasons to feel the way I do. It's all overly depressing wouldn't you say?!!!". There's silence and there's silence. However, it was clear that I needed help…
Interestingly, it's amazing the things you can see in a dark place. So I'm now looking up from the bottom.
And as always, I'll do my best to climb out of here.