Sunday, February 19, 2017

Lieutenant's Log #6

 February 19, 2017

Lieutenant's Log #6

Two years ago I spent my first two weeks on the ship being sea sick.  I was wondering if I'd go through the same thing on this trip. It's been almost a week and no problems. It helps that I avoid looking out of my cabin window. 
Last night, the waters were mildly turbulent. It was a reminder that rough seas will likely override my 'not looking out of my cabin window.'   


Last night, I thought I'd have to walk the plank for sure.  
As it should be, pleasing the guests is the ship's priority.  In the lounge, the bar staff are the judges and executioners. 
Sometimes they'll walk by our stage area and say something nice or joke and the band will automatically play quieter fearing we did something wrong. 

Things were going nicely. When we got to our third set, there was this noise.  An intermitting, clapping upper frequency. Like a tambourine jingle or 'Rice Krispies' from hell.  It was driving me crazy. It sounded like it was coming right through the speakers. I'm trying to troubleshoot the PA inputs as we're performing, turning down various channels, but the noise persisted. Through the set I'm making fun of the sonic annoyance, "Somebody ought to fire the tambourine player." "On the other hand, at least they're not being paid." Suddenly, a big bar staffer came up to our area, leaned over the piano and said "Is there something wrong?" I guess he was concerned, but the fact that he was there brought the fear of a Nordic Lucifer.  We're doomed.   Perhaps we can track down the house engineer to fix the problem before our next set.    
Turns out that the noise was coming from a table of folks playing poker or backgammon or... with the loudest chips I've ever heard. They were sitting along the side of me. They didn't seem to care how noisy they were in a very quiet setting. Hey, the customer is always right. 

If that wasn't bad enough, right across and below the lounge we play in, is a dining area.  The dining room closes after the first set. Now I'm hearing a buzzing sound.  A very loud buzz.  It was like a gigantic bumble bee. So now I'm on the microphone humming along in pitch with the buzz. Finally, after humming in the mic I said, "Somebody ought to swat that thing."  I was absolutely sure that the dining room cleaning staff was running a vacuum cleaner.  Well apparently, there was a older gentleman who had some condition in which he hums loudly.  Miche fails again. "Somebody ought to swat that thing." kept going through my head.  This all happened in one evening.  How many people can I offend in one night?  I felt terrible and concerned that I'd be reported for misconduct. 
Other than that, it was a great night.

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