Lieutenant's Log #9

My plans today have been thwarted. I was looking forward to a stroll in Kiel, making a stop at the pharmacy for glucose tablets and GeloRevoice voice tablets...   Apparently I got mixed up. We're not in Kiel today, we're in Oslo.  So what's so great about Kiel? As it relates to the ship, in Kiel, the shopping center is in close proximity. You step off the ship and it's straight ahead. It's not so convient in Oslo. Shopping in Oslo requires a bit of a walk and hoping you don't get lost.  Oslo is a very attractive city. However, it's unbelievably expensive. Since the ship travels back and forth from Kiel to Oslo, Kiel is where the money is spent.   

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Poor Doru (pianist) is very sick with the flu. It's getting around the ship.  As Doru puts it, he's now talking like Louis Armstrong. 

I've been taking measures to pamper my voice, getting plenty of rest, throat messages, etc. What would the establishment do if I lost my voice? I don't want to find out.

I took a short nap. My room was cooler than I like, but instead of turning up the thermostat I just braved through it and plopped on the bed.

After our second set, I was struck with feeling cold and shivering. I couldn't stop shivering. I was hoping no one would notice. I felt like something was going on. Though it wasn't flu related (in my observation), it was something. I found myself wanting to ask someone to feel my forehead for a fever. This was not as easy as you'd think.. For reasons I can't explain, I refused to ask either of the male band mates to feel my head, preferring instead to ask a female, any female. But there was a risk that asking a woman, "Can you feel my head to see if it's warm?"may have been misunderstood.  Then I'd be thrown in the ship jail for lewd behavior. Fortunately, I was able to ask a lady while Doru was present. He was able to explain what I was asking.  

This was the longest night yet. I got to my room and went to straight to bed. Shivering. 

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On the musical front, I couldn't be more thrilled. Playing with Doru is a major honor.  I'm learning so much. The thing I love about Doru is, he's not simply a great jazz musician, he's also a classical pianist. He brings both elements to his improv skills. It dawned on me while listen to him that I had left out classical components of the nylon string guitar. What I mean is, there are certain simple voicing's that don't sound good at all on electric or jazz guitars but work very nicely on the nylon string.  I'll demonstrate this in a video one of these days. 

Lieutenant's Log #8

February 25, 2017

Lieutenant's Log #8

Life feels a bit more isolated than before. The first time I was on the ship was in the months of May and June. The weather was beautiful. Everyday I'd get up and out for a walk. Now I'm here in the month of February to the end of April, so far it's quite cold and grey. Going for a walk is not a desirable consideration.  Perhaps the weather will change as we close in to the month of April.  

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I was always amused that at cheaper hotels or motels you no longer will find a bar of soap and mini bottles of shampoo. Instead, there's this mystery liquid that claims you can use it for body wash, shampoo, hand soap, mouthwash, tooth paste and coffee sweetener. I was surprised to find nicely packaged items in the Kiel Pharmacy making the same claims. Good thing I'm not much of a coffee drinker.  I'm guessing the nicer hotels know this mystery liquid fact to be true, that all such items are pretty much made from the same stuff, but recognize that customers will frown upon using a versatile single item, thinking the establishment is cheap and without 'class'.  I wonder if I can use it for shaving?

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Last night as the band started our third set, a striking brunette, tall (6' or close) wearing a black one piece short skirt thingy with a bob style haircut walked up and sat down right next to me as I was singing. When one of the other guys were soloing, she'd start talking to me. Stroking my arms the whole time. This was very unnerving for a lot of reasons.  For starters any contact with other humans on the ship is rare. I found that I couldn't bring myself to say to the attractive woman, "Stop stroking me." Then her husband comes up and a sat at the piano next to her. Surprisingly, this didn't stop her behavior, she kept chatting and stroking away. I began to wonder what this could possibly lead to.   Then he said, "Black people are the best singers, right?" She stopped stroking. Then I was about to have a stroke.  This was an awkward question and I felt under pressure. If I had said no,  no doubt, word would've gotten back to National Black Caucus and I'd never be able to enter the US again.  So I answered, " Uhhhh, yeah."  Then I started singing.  "You are the best singer I've ever heard." "So smooth." "What are doing on a ship, singing. You should be a star."   Believe it or not, I hear this a lot. I'll just say, I'm grateful. The brunette left briefly.  When she returned, she stuffed a note in my jacket along side of my pocket scarf, in front of her husband.  I was honestly afraid to read it.  I finally got the courage during the break.  What a night. 

 

  

 

Lieutenant's Log #7

February 22, 2017

Lieutenant's Log #7

Most of the staff have a two weeks on and a two weeks off schedule. So daily, folks are coming and going. I'm reminded of certain characters I'd soon avoid. Like this one guy I usually run into in the mess. He looks extremely intense and he never smiles. I'm pretty sure he's a hitman. Man-bun and all.  Which reminds me. There's actually a jail on the ship. Imagine that? Perhaps the hitman has escaped. Again.  And there's an exceptionally beautiful transgender Asian woman. She avoids eye contact and looks like she's VERY pissed, probably at the hitman. 

Compared to my last trip, it's helpful to know that making friends is a very difficult option on the ship, except with other musicians and a couple of clowns. And clowns can be dangerous. There's simply no time. Everyone works long and hard days. When they have free time, they sleep or smoke. It should be noted that introverts are very comfortable in these conditions. 

Again, compared to my last trip, I'm not even trying to make friends, which for an introvert is less stressful.  Perhaps I understand the hitman.  

 

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I talk a lot about the mess. I failed to mention the "Day Room." That's the staff social gathering room to relax. You can sit in one of those fancy "get a message" chair, they're great, watch a movie in an adjacent room or simply chill on a comfy couch. On my first trip, the Day Room was always occupied, because it was also the only room for staff to access the internet. Now the internet can be access from our cabins as well.  Because the internet is available in our rooms, the Day Room isn't as busy. Most used to spend all of their free time in the Day Room hoping to get a connection. Now we wait in our rooms hoping to get a connection.  Like before, the internet is the worst, whether on the sea or land. 

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(An early, empty promenade.)

Color Line workers are on strike today. Wow!  Apparently in politics, there's a labor consideration to hire cheaper workers possibly from the Phillipines and fire the more expensive Norwegian staff (and a few others). So today while in Oslo, a great number of Color Line staffers took a chartered bus to the Oslo capital building to protest from 10am to 1pm. This will delay the ships departure for about an hour. Heaven help the cleaning staff.  

In September, Norway will hold it's elections. We'll see...  

Lieutenant's Log #6

 February 19, 2017

Lieutenant's Log #6

Two years ago I spent my first two weeks on the ship being sea sick.  I was wondering if I'd go through the same thing on this trip. It's been almost a week and no problems. It helps that I avoid looking out of my cabin window. 

Last night, the waters were mildly turbulent. It was a reminder that rough seas will likely override my 'not looking out of my cabin window.'   

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Last night, I thought I'd have to walk the plank for sure.  

As it should be, pleasing the guests is the ship's priority.  In the lounge, the bar staff are the judges and executioners. 

Sometimes they'll walk by our stage area and say something nice or joke and the band will automatically play quieter fearing we did something wrong. 

Things were going nicely. When we got to our third set, there was this noise.  An intermitting, clapping upper frequency. Like a tambourine jingle or 'Rice Krispies' from hell.  It was driving me crazy. It sounded like it was coming right through the speakers. I'm trying to troubleshoot the PA inputs as we're performing, turning down various channels, but the noise persisted. Through the set I'm making fun of the sonic annoyance, "Somebody ought to fire the tambourine player." "On the other hand, at least they're not being paid." Suddenly, a big bar staffer came up to our area, leaned over the piano and said "Is there something wrong?" I guess he was concerned, but the fact that he was there brought the fear of a Nordic Lucifer.  We're doomed.   Perhaps we can track down the house engineer to fix the problem before our next set.    

Turns out that the noise was coming from a table of folks playing poker or backgammon or... with the loudest chips I've ever heard. They were sitting along the side of me. They didn't seem to care how noisy they were in a very quiet setting. Hey, the customer is always right. 

If that wasn't bad enough, right across and below the lounge we play in, is a dining area.  The dining room closes after the first set. Now I'm hearing a buzzing sound.  A very loud buzz.  It was like a gigantic bumble bee. So now I'm on the microphone humming along in pitch with the buzz. Finally, after humming in the mic I said, "Somebody ought to swat that thing."  I was absolutely sure that the dining room cleaning staff was running a vacuum cleaner.  Well apparently, there was a older gentleman who had some condition in which he hums loudly.  Miche fails again. "Somebody ought to swat that thing." kept going through my head.  This all happened in one evening.  How many people can I offend in one night?  I felt terrible and concerned that I'd be reported for misconduct. 

Other than that, it was a great night.

Lieutenant's Log # 5

February 18,  2017

Lieutenant's Log # 5

It's taken a few days, but I'm starting to get a hang of things. So many rules and you only learn about them after you've broken one.  You're measured by every detail.  It's the classic old demerit system. "Your room is filthy. You must walk the plank or never board this ship again if you survive."  Entering the mess is potential trouble for me.  Staff is REQUIRED to wash their hands in the designated sinks before nearing the food area.  Why should this be a problem for me?  Practically every time I'm having a meal it's after taking a shower or mirror prep before public life, so my hands are already washed before going to the mess. It seems redundant to wash my hands again. 

So once or twice I've just walked in and scooted right past the sink. I could sense the eyes on me. "What a nasty African American." So for show, I'd slink back to the sink and wash my washed hands.   Even if I explained it, no one would believe me.

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The crew cuisine on the ship is very meat, fish and potatoes.  Oh and vegetables.  Sandwiches and salads are available 24/7. Hot meals are served three times a day. I find that I eat less on the ship than when I'm at home, because you don't want to be seen with a heap of food on your plate if you're eating alone. "What a piggy African American and look, he has no vegetables." 

Often I don't recognize a dish and after someone kindly describes it to me, I feel obligated to try it. It's a gamble and I've been on a losing streak lately.  

Yesterday there was baked Cornish hen. That's what it looked like to me.  It looked really good, but I opted for the broiled fish. That's what it looked like to me. I really wanted the chicken but, well... I became self conscious about how I would eat it. Normally at home, I'd use a knife and fork to carve the sides leaving thighs in place.  I was never one for ripping the legs off. Even when I was a kid, my mother gave me a hard time about eating chicken because I left too much meat on the bone.  I just couldn't deal with the veins and  ripping things apart.  So I never touched chicken when I was home because I was tired of my mother complaining about it. 

The only time I enjoy chicken aside from breast, is when I'm eating KFC in a vehicle. It's usually dark in the car and you can't see what you're ripping apart. As for the innocuous fish, I forked a piece into my mouth only to have a mouth full of bones. I would have been better off dealing with the chicken.  

This evening was a great surprise. My "taste memory" rejoiced in it.  It was chipped beef (That's what it looked like to me) and rice. 

The taste brought back childhood memories of waiting in the surplus lines with my uncle to receive free cheese, powered milk and a coffee can size of 'beef stuff'.   We'd eat it with rice. I loved it. I haven't had it since. The meal this evening tasted exactly what I remembered. That's what I call a happy meal.

 

Lieutenant's Log # 4

February 16, 2017

Lieutenant's Log # 4

 My first band cruise experience was a trio. Piano, bass and voice.  The band was great.

This time the line up is piano, voice and saxophone. I've worked with the pianist (Doru) in the previous line up. No bass?  Doru and I were both unnerved at the thought. However Doru, the pro that he is, figured out how to make it work using backing tracks minus piano.  It's different, but it works if you know how.  So Choko's saxophone was a nice touch.  Choko himself is a great musician, and hard not to really like as a person. 

I'm actually playing a lot more guitar than before, mainly because the ship has upgraded their monitor system. Now the acoustic guitar sounds great. 

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Knowing that I haven't been singing much these days, I was very nervous about my voice, having to sing five sets a night and seven nights a week. Fortunately, I quickly remembered and adjusted to the softer singing style which I actually prefer. It's more musical and lyrical. My voice likes it.  I recalled a few tips I learned from the one of the ship's show-group singers two years ago. From baking soda to "TMRG (Voice Solution)", I came prepared. 

 

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Last night was awkward. There are chairs placed around the grand piano which puts people up close to the band. Sometimes too close.

It's not so bad when women are seated or couples, but when a gang of men are seated up close, it's ... weird. That was the case last night.  

The piano is designed so that drinks can be placed on top of it or on the shelf made around it.  I stand on the side of the piano.  Last night I had my usual water, tea and not so usual, two cookies near me.  An adorable Norwegian (I'll call him Sven) became enamored with alcohol and the band. Through the evening he became enamored with me. Eventually, he nabbed a chair right next to me, expressing his love for me, grabbing my hand. I was hoping someone from the staff would intervene.  Then Sven helped himself to my glass of water AND my tea.

"Would you like a cookie?"  "No thank you."     Well, it's only the beginning.

Lieutenant's Log # 4

February 16, 2017

Lieutenant's Log # 4

 My first band cruise experience was a trio. Piano, bass and voice.  The band was great.

This time the line up is piano, voice and saxophone. I've worked with the pianist (Doru) in the previous line up. No bass?  Doru and I were both unnerved at the thought. However Doru, the pro that he is, figured out how to make it work using backing tracks minus piano.  It's different, but it works if you know how.  So Choko's saxophone was a nice touch.  Choko himself is a great musician, and hard not to really like as a person. I'm actually playing a lot more guitar than before, mainly because the ship has upgraded their monitor system. Now the acoustic guitar sounds great. 

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Knowing that I haven't been singing much these days, I was very nervous about my voice, having to sing five sets a night and seven nights a week. Fortunately, I quickly remembered and adjusted to the softer singing style which I actually prefer. It's more musical and lyrical. My voice likes it.  I recalled a few tips I learned from the one of the ship's show-group singers two years ago. From baking soda to "TMRG (Voice Solution)", I came prepared. 

 

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Last night was awkward. There are chairs placed around the grand piano which puts people up close to the band. Sometimes too close.

It's not so bad when women are seated or couples, but when a gang of men are seated up close, it's ... weird. That was the case last night.  

The piano is designed so that drinks can be placed on top of it or on the shelf made around it.  I stand on the side of the piano.  Last night I had my usual water, tea and not so usual, two cookies near me.  An adorable Norwegian (I'll call him Sven) became enamored with alcohol and the band. Through the evening he became enamored with me. Eventually, he nabbed a chair right next to me, expressing his love for me, grabbing my hand. I was hoping someone from the staff would intervene.  Then Sven helped himself to my glass of water AND my tea.

"Would you like a cookie?"  "No thank you."     Well, it's only the beginning.

Lieutenant's Log # 3

February 15, 2017

Lieutenant's Log # 3

 I quickly indulged in my favorite pastime when in Kiel, which is going to "Grossman's", the area's version of CVS Drugs in the US. I had to replace the deodorant I purchased at home. It's amazing all the fancy deodorant items you can buy. The packaging and marketing is impressive, although I think there are way too many choices. I decided to try Mennen's (I think) 'Extra Fresh'. It was in a great looking box. When I got around to using it, I noticed that the smell was familiar but horrible. I recognized the scent but I couldn't put my finger on it. Then it hit me. It smells like Upstate, NY horse manure. There's no mistaking it. So I've been walking around on the ship smelling like horse crap. I'll say one thing, the smell was most certainly 'Extra Fresh.'      

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  It was arranged that I would board the ship a day early before my contracted schedule. So the agency put me up in a passengers cabin for a day.   As you'd expect, the passenger cabins are extremely nice compared to the spartan, efficient cabins of the staff.  On my first trip, I thought the cleaning staff had forgotten to put a shower curtain in the rather small bathroom.  Nope. The toilet is inches away from the shower. So yes, the toilet gets wet when you shower. 

I don't mean to be gross, but there's nothing like being able to take a dump while showering at the same time.  Yes I know, that sentence could have been prettier.

 

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 In theory, after ten weeks I should be in much better shape than I am at the moment.  

 The last two days have been exhausting. My cabin is on the third level.  You can only get to it via stairs. The "mess (cafeteria)" and crew area is on the fifth level.  I have to go to the mess area to gain access to those particular stairs to the third level. The performance room is on the promenade, seventh level.  So several times a day it's up and down the stairs, back and forth across the promenade. From the fifth level I can use the elevator to the promenade, but I'm trying not to. If I can just control the urge to eat 24/7, I should be in good shape by the end of my contract.  

Lieutenant's Log #2

                                                                     February 13, 2017

                                                                    Lieutenant's Log #2

Well I'm back aboard the cruise ship. It was fortunate to run into "Choko", the band saxophonist. I arrived at the terminal about 10:30am. We couldn't board the ship until 1pm. So there was a lot of time to kill which was great, because hauling my bags from the hotel to the terminal was indeed a workout. Sitting down was a great idea.

 Choko is from Bulgaria. As I was walking into the terminal, he recognized me from the internet. He's tall and looks like Colin Hay from "Men At Work."  From my observation, men from Eastern Europe make the best looking B-movie bad guys. Their faces usually have so much character. Like a lot musicians on cruise ships, Choko has been working on ships for decades. A veteran for sure. 

We talked for quite a bit. Well I should say, I listened for quite a bit. Even though I could hardly understand a word he was saying, his stories seemed fascinating. At least if I was hearing what I thought I was hearing. Interestingly every story ended with someone dying. To be fair, he's older than me by 11 years, so I suppose he's very acquainted with mortality tales.  

This band is going to be extremely different than the last group. It's still a trio, but there's no bassist. I have no idea why there would be no bassist and no idea what to expect. Couple that with the fact that not only do I have a hard time understanding Choko,  I also have a hard time understanding "Doru" the pianist. He's from Romania. They both have very thick accents. The only language we have in common is music. I hope we're all fluent. 

*I can't think of the last time that I was the youngest person in the band.  :)

Lieutenant's Log #1

February 12, 2017

Lieutenant's Log # 1

Tomorrow I embark on the Color Line cruise ship. I arrived in Kiel yesterday. It feels good being back in Germany, at least in Kiel. From what I read, there's a lot of turmoil east of here. However, I'm very comfortable here in Kiel. Yes, I could live here. 

The flight from Toronto was longer than I remember. "How was the flight?" Well, no one booed when we landed. Sometimes I wonder why people applaud when the plane lands. Isn't that what the plane is suppose to do?  I hope I'm never on a plane when people are booing. 

The plane landed in Hamburg. I took a bus from Hamburg to Kiel. Fortunately, the Hotel booked was walking distance from the bus stop. I'm carrying two cases, my guitar on my back and a portfolio.  One of the tricky parts of this gig is the amount of clothes I have to bring. Performing in the "jazz room" requires me to dress nice every night. Not that I mind, but how am I going to carry all those clothes. Band mate from my first cruise ship experience, sent me a YouTube link on packing a ton of clothes in a smallish case. That was super helpful. If you're curious take a look.

 Packing Clothes...

 

The hotel is right along the port. You can see the ships outside the window. It's a nice hotel and it's a great precursor to the ship adventure. Sans luxury.  My room is remarkably similar to the "ensign's quarters" from my first trip.  Uncomfortable looking beds that are shockingly comfortable. Terrible internet and exceptional food.  Tomorrow begins the adventure as I haul my bags from the hotel to the ship. A mild work out.